Guest Writer

The Picture on the Phone Pole by Christopher J Ananias

The streets of Marion were one way, even the alleys. If I went past the address, it would be a hassle. My GPS led me with its robotic commands like I was its mindless servant. That’s about the way I felt driving the Medicaid Taxi van, old No. 4, that smelled like a dirty laundry hamper. The so-called clients, “The Riders,” gave me a hard time if I showed up late for their free ride.

“They’re a bunch of deadbeats, Cal.” I said on our daily bullshit call.

Cal, who was always ranting about them, suddenly said, like a big company man, “Hey, don’t talk about our riders like that.” He was a fanatical Trumper too, hounding me to vote for the orange man. I almost did, thinking Trump was for Christian values, what a crock. Now I’m wondering about Biden and his senility.

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Why Are We On This Little Rock by Jordan Eve Morral

My thoughts aren’t original or groundbreaking. I know that. But maybe I’m here to remind you to think more deeply about the mundane stuff. Or that which we consider to be mundane. Like sleep. Isn’t it crazy that, for eight hours a day, everyday, humans enter into a state that (basically) makes them dead to the world? Eight ritual hours of nonexistence. Or television consumption. Eyes glued to a screen, watching other people live their lives but doing nothing themselves. And the various needs of the body that a person must obey, or else. If they don’t, the result could be death. No exaggeration. Hunger and dehydration–and a million other things–are real, people. Or the mere fact that humans live in houses and drive cars and hold fancy jobs and arrange the arugula and chicken on their sandwich to look pretty. Is there no such thing as a feral person anymore? Why has everything become so structured? That can’t be human nature, can it? And now most of a person’s life is stored on the internet for the world and all eternity to see. It must seem hypocritical of me, typing this from the comfort of my heated home, but I can’t change how things are, how the world functions in this day and age. The biggest difference my lonely, little self can make is challenging the masses’ way of thinking. Probably nothing noticeable will take place, but maybe, just maybe, people will begin valuing themselves for different reasons. They won’t see their worth in the lofty education they have received or all the connections they have made. They’ll find their meaning in the fact that they exist in a wide world with a consciousness so vast, a person’s whole life could be spent watching a river flow and thinking of all the beauty that has come before. It seems so surreal to think of all that has happened and will happen on this one tiny rock floating through space. We are so tiny, the universe so vast. The most we should expect of ourselves is equal appreciation of divine and earthly pleasures. We aren’t made to follow rules or conform to norms that should exist in the first place. We are made to simply be.

Jordan Eve Morral

Jane Day (A Minologue) by Geraint Jonathan

Asked whether since last Friday she had heard voices she said yes a myriad. Asked whether when she heard said voices she was able to converse with them she replied yes always. Asked if the voices had faces she answered yes sometimes. Asked if said faces had forms discernible to her bodily eyes she replied yes sometimes. Asked what appearance they had she said words failed her or she failed them. Asked if she’d care to elaborate she said no not really. Asked if she knew what day it was she replied Wednesday. Asked whether she believed she suffered from a mental disorder she replied no she quite enjoyed it. Asked if she thought such levity appropriate in a matter so grave she declined to answer and merely smiled in a manner best described as ‘enigmatic’. Asked if she always did as her voices commanded she said her voices did not command. Asked whether when they spoke to her she grew frightened she said no never. Asked whether she understood the reason for her being here she again declined to answer but this time did not smile neither enigmatically nor in any way discernible to bodily eyes.

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Mime by David Henson

The mime motions for a volunteer.

A young man emerges from the crowd.

The mime tips an imaginary hat.

The young man likewise.

Chuckles mingle among the onlookers.

The mime holds his pretend hat

to his head, leans

against an imaginary wind.

The young man does his best.

The mime nods.

The mime presses his hands

against the walls

of an invisible box,

crouches and pushes

his chin to his chest.

The box is shrinking.

When it appears the mime

is about to be squashed,

he strains his hands above him

and, arms trembling,

struggles to his feet.

The young man tries

to imitate the maneuver,

but the invisible box

continues contracting.

The young man’s mouth opens

in a silent scream until

he disappears.

Someone holds up a phone,

shouts Viral video!

The mime sweeps a bow,

motions for another volunteer.

Twenty hands shoot up.

(end)

David Henson

Everyone is Living Life For the First Time by Jordan Eve Morral

For a long time, I’ve been telling myself that “everyone is living life for the first time.”

To me, the thought justifies my uncertainty, deepens my understanding of others, and reminds me that I should not fear the future or the decisions I must make for myself, by myself.

Remembering that the majority of the world’s population is well under 50 years of age–and still living for the first time despite their accumulated experiences–awakens my own confidence and feelings of abundance. It helps me recognize the potential that is left unused by nearly every person that has ever lived. It is a recollection that shows me that I should have no fear of judgement or fear of pursuing something that is not seen as acceptable or a societal norm. Like, literally, no one knows what they’re doing. They may pretend to have their life under control, or they may think they know the key to existence, but really, they’re just going through life in a way that has been dictated to them since childhood. But, they, like you and me, can unlearn their childhood conditioning and pursue LITERALLY ANYTHING because no one has the right to tell them not to. It’s their first and only life, and they must live it the way they want.

And the same goes for you. So, please, for the sake of everything fleeting and beautiful, read this blog post, and then do something wonderfully unconventional for yourself.

Why fear judgement? It is pointless and holding you back.

Even if people had a valid reason for judging your actions, choices, behaviors–which they never will, by the way–they can never truly judge you in relation to your experiences, upbringing, current situation, etc., so you must not let their opinions bother you. A lot easier said than done, I know, trust me. But there is also the fact that they are likely dissatisfied with their own lives and will die never having pursued anything that truly brought them feelings of joy or freedom. So really, you can’t feel bad for yourself and any negative things being said about you. You can only feel bad for the unhappy human who comforts themself by speaking poorly of another person.

Okay, another scenario. Maybe no one is even noticing what you are doing in your little corner of the world. While this is probable, you likely feel self-conscious and begin to convince yourself that your every move is being watched anyways. Completely untrue; people have their own things going on and do not spend their every moment analyzing you. However, if this were the case, why should that bother you? All it means is that you are brave enough to do something different than the masses. They watch you because they are intrigued and maybe even jealous of your open individuality.

If you are doing something that has never been done before–or something that comes with a negative stigma–it is helpful to think of yourself as a pioneer in whatever domain you are pursuing. There have been pioneers in every major religion, for example, and now those religions have millions of followers. But to get that point of popularity, there had to be some people who were mocked, outcasted, and even martyred before the others could see, accept, and then openly welcome these new ideas. Fortunately for us, most of society has advanced in such a way that we won’t be sacrificing our lives when we chase unconventionality.

No one really knows what they’re doing.

In case you haven’t noticed, every single person around you is pretending they know what they are doing. They try to make it seem like they have figured out how to fulfill their life’s purpose and that they have no doubts whatsoever about the process of getting there. But, really, they have not the faintest clue what’s going on… And that’s okay.

Everyone has uncertainties, even on a day-to-day basis. Should I quit my job? Am I with the right person? Is this how I want to spend the rest of my youth? The rest of my life? You get the gist. The future spans in so many directions, but the average person plays it safe and follows in the footsteps of their parents. If not that, they watch their peers and get in line. No choices are their own. It’s sad, really, that no one knows how to think for themselves any more. These days,“free-thinkers” refers to a minority, and that just isn’t right.

And, when we do have inspirations and epiphanies and messages from the divine, it’s embarrassing how few of us act on them. We waste so much time doubting ourselves and not taking advantage of our health and capabilities that we end up doing nothing at all. In instances like these, we need to remember that there is no right way of doing anything. We must tell ourselves to get up, stop rotting, and take action. Explore our passions, show our unconventionalities, and make progress towards something substantial that is not rooted in tradition.

What even are societal norms and why do people follow them?

There are too many ways to answer this question, but, ultimately, the average human is a coward. And I don’t mean this as an insult. Simply put, we all have a fight-or-flight instinct. And, naturally, most of us choose to flee from the unfamiliar. In moments of stress, fighting seems to be the less safe option and no risk ever worth it.

So, if all we ever do is run back to our comfort zones, of course little progress is made in the way of discovering new territories. We revert back to the ways of our ancestors. Or more commonly, the approval of our family and friends. Yes, the people closest to us may be the ones keeping us stagnant. It’s nothing they do or say, exactly. Rather, it is what we are afraid of them doing or saying if we choose to pursue something outside of the realm of ordinary and acceptable. However, once we recognize this truth, it becomes easier to fight this mindset and break free of the voices holding us back. You are not here to be understood but to understand yourself.

Don’t forget to watch the clouds and talk to the trees.

So, this is the part where you have all these grand ideas in your head. You visualize yourself emerging from the safety of an underground bunker and into the light of every glorious thing you have ever wanted. Good for you. Now, you must chase these things, show yourself as a new person, and break free of every convention you have ever believed or hid behind. It will be hard, at first, but once you truly understand that there is not a single human who is better than you and there is not a single person in your life who has the right to judge you, you will be free.

We have endless possibilities to break the rules, challenge stigma, and enter into our highest states of being. But, with this, we must never forget where we’ve come from. While there is no one who will ever be better than, you will also never be better than them. They may be further behind you in figuring out they have the freedom to decide their own lives without outside influences, but they are human too. Ground yourself in cloud watching and tree talking. All of us are made up of the same soil we stand on. For that very reason, we must develop understanding for others but also live our brief lives on our own terms.

Jordan Eve Morral

An Imagined Final Conversation at Polhoegda, near Oslo, 1930 by Michael Bloor

On June 17th 1896, a bizarre encounter occurred in Franz Josef Land, in the Arctic wastes. Fridtjof Nansen (1861-1930), the Norwegian scientist and arctic explorer, met Major Frederick Jackson (1860-1938), the leader of a British arctic expedition. Their meeting was an incredible piece of luck: Nansen and his companion, Johansen, had left their ship, the Fram, more than a year previously to try and reach the pole, and were presumed – by Major Jackson and the general public – to have died. They had, in fact, survived an arctic winter on walrus blubber and polar bear meat, but would surely have perished eventually had it not been for that chance meeting. Nansen later wrote that both gentlemen raised their hats and said ‘How do you do?’ Nansen and Jackson each went on to lead extraordinary lives.

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A Few Notes From the Photographer: I Come in Peace by Christopher J Ananias

CHRISTOPHER J ANANIAS

The Tufted Titmouse shamelessly workin’ the pole at Big Daddy’s.

The Mississippi Kite was way off course in a nature park near Indianapolis. Many of our fellow birders flocked in to see it, careful not to disturb.

The “Chipping Sparrow” is one of the smallest sparrows. A friendly little bird that will help themselves to your black sunflower seeds and seedcakes for dessert.

The Sandhill Crane a large marsh bird who’s got the moves.

Christopher J Ananias

The Dark Lonely Street by Christopher J Ananias

the dark lonely street

accompanies my staggering gait

with its nice little houses

judging me in their wake

The Lord’s steeple rises

I look with a hopeful bleakness

wanting to be a child again

loosed of the drunkard’s curse

greeted by a shadow’s, clink, clink

whipping around a dark cornice

Like the slash of a whip!

wrinkled up mouth, teeth, and no lips

a barking pious creature of contempt

a charging malevolence

ending its disdain in its chain

hating my low whiskey stink

pushed away from the Lord

into the doldrums of drink

I walk toward Jesus or further

draining my dandelion wine

alcohol robbing me

of everything dear

A lackluster career

of dreary consequence

seems to be my creed

a conflicting,

failing need

I hit the bottle like, life

after breadth and reach of town

finally, I make like coming around The Horn

I catch sail

to my mother’s home

to the enablement

of her generosity

I step light as lead

to my childhood’s room and bed

Christopher J Ananias

(Image by CJA)

Bulls by David Henson

They surround you

like mountains their shoulders

flanks like boulders

the way they tighten

your breath

strong as a

built like a

mean as a

balls like a

it’s all true

and too too close

don’t worry

about stepping in

those steaming piles or

the urine-soaked straw

don’t pay any mind

to the afterbirth hanging

from that cow’s

mouth keep your eyes

on those bulls

always remember

you’re not one

of those children

who can toss

their arms around

those nightmare necks

whisper secrets

from the corn

into those twitching ears.

(“Bulls” Originally appeared in Poetry Now (defunct) Issue 38, 1983. Print only. Not available online.)

David Henson

Date Rape: A Play by Gary Beck

(image is of the author, http://www.garybeck.com)


Scene 1 (Sunday morning. The living room of the Bennett family. Enter Jennifer. Distraught. Megan enters.)

Megan: “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been walking around this morning like death warmed over. Are you sick?”

Jennifer: “I’m not sick.”

Megan: “Then what is it?”

Jennifer (She looks around to be sure no one can hear her) “I was raped.”

Megan: “Oh, no. (she rushes to Jennifer and hugs her) When?”

Jennifer: “Last night. At a frat party.” (she cries)

Megan: “My poor baby. (comforts her) Tell me about it.”

Jennifer: “A guy in my lit class invited me to the Lacrosse team party. Larry was away this weekend, so I went. There was a lot of drinking, pot smoking, I think some of them were snorting coke. I didn’t like it, but it didn’t threaten me. People were dancing and having fun. Ron, the guy who invited me, offered me coke, but I refused. He got me a beer and we danced. I started feeling dizzy and he led me to another room. I guess I passed out, because the next thing I knew when I woke up was my clothes were off, he was on top of me and he was inside me. (Jennifer looks at Megan, horrified) He was doing it to me. I tried to push him off, but I could barely move. It was hard to talk, but I said: ‘Stop. Get off me. Please stop’. But he kept on until he came in me, moaning like an animal.” (She breaks down sobbing)

Megan: (comforts her, asks) “What happened after that?”

Jennifer: “He left. I found my clothes, got dressed and snuck out of there. I didn’t want anyone to see me. When I got back to the dorm I was so agitated I couldn’t stay there. I was afraid I’d go crazy. So I came home.”

Megan: “Well we’ve got things to do.”

Jennifer: “What?”

Megan “First we’ve got to to go the emergency room and get you examined and let them take DNA samples of your attacker. Then we got to the police and report it…”

Jennifer: “I don’t know if I can deal with that…”

Megan: “You’ve got to. Monday morning we’ll go to the school and report it.”

Jennifer: “No. I can’t. Everybody’ll know.”

Megan: “You didn’t do anything wrong. He did. Let them look at him. It sounds like he gave you that date rape drug, then assaulted you. He’s a criminal. You’re an innocent victim. (Megan hugs her and whispers) If you don’t have him arrested, the same thing that happened to me will happen to you.”

Jennifer: “What do you mean?”

Megan: “I was raped when I was your age.”

Jennifer: “Oh, Megan. I didn’t know”

Megan: “I was so ashamed I didn’t tell anyone. I started drinking, had panic attacks, became depressed and dropped out of school. When I finally told Mom, she took me to the doctor and he diagnosed me with post-traumatic-stress-disorder.”

Jennifer: “I had no idea. Mom told me you were sick, but she never explained what was wrong.”

Megan: “What did you expect? You were 12 years old. She couldn’t tell you I was raped. You were an innocent kid. You wouldn’t have been able to deal with that.”

Jennifer: “Someone should have told me something to make me understand what was wrong with you. All they said was you were sick.”

Megan: “It took me a year to finally tell Mom what happened. By that time I was an alcoholic. I was miserable and had lost control of my life, which was a mess. I was beginning to think about suicide. Out of desperation I told Mom. She got me help, but it took two years and a lot of money we couldn’t afford before I got back on my feet. Then I went back to school and rebuilt my life.”

Jennifer: “I wish knew. Maybe I could have helped.”

Megan: “There was nothing you could have done. Now we have to make sure the same kind of thing doesn’t happen to you. I know what you’re going through. I was there. You have to protect yourself. The only way to do it is by overcoming your shame and feelings of guilt that it was your fault, then facing what has to be done.”

Jennifer: “I don’t know if I can. It’s so humiliating.”

Megan: “That’s why it’s so important to get treatment, with proof that it happened, and have your attacker arrested. He’ll be the one who’s humiliated when he’s in jail.”

Jennifer: “Alright. I’ll do it. But you’ve got to go with me.”

Megan: “Of course, Jen. I’ll stay with you every step of the way. First you’ve got to

tell Mom and Dad.”

Jennifer: “Do I have to?”

Megan: “Sure. They’ll be part of your support system. We’ll need them.”

Jennifer: (Hugs Megan) “Thanks, Meg. Last night I thought I’d die of shame. As long as you’re with me I can face it.”

Megan: “All the way, sis.” (exit Jennifer, Megan)

Scene 2 (Late afternoon. The Bennett family living room. enter Jennifer. Megan leads in Julia and Mitchell Bennett)

Mitchell: “What’s up? We were about to take a power walk before dinner.”

Megan: “Jennifer has something to tell you.”

Julia: “I assume that’s why you brought us here. What is it?”

Jennifer: (Megan gestures for Jennifer to speak. Jennifer stares at her parents for a moment) “There’s no easy way for me to say this. I was raped last night.”

Julia: “No. No”. (Rushes to her. Mitchell stands there stunned. Then slowly goes to her and hugs her. Julia and Jennifer are crying. Mitchell is miserable)

Megan: “We went to the hospital and they checked Jen thoroughly. They found some of his hair on her clothes and one of his pubic hairs. They also found his semen on her abdomen, even though he used a condom. They tested her blood which still had a heavy presence of Ryphonol. There was almost no alcohol level, which proved she wasn’t drunk. Then we went to the police station, spoke to a detective and filed a complaint. We gave them the medical records and after they questioned Jen they issued a warrant for his arrest. Jen was terrific. You can understand how she was feeling, but she did everything right.”

Julia: “Well thank heavens for that. We couldn’t survive another case of a daughter keeping her mouth shut and going nuts.”

Megan: “Mom! Don’t talk like that. Jennifer did us proud. She actually asked the detectives if they could arrest the guy in class.”

Mitchell: “Good for you, Jen. That took nerve. (He pats her fondly) We’re here for you. Whatever you need we’ll get for you.”

Jennifer: “Thanks, Dad. I’m glad you’re not mad at me.”

Mitchell: “Of course not. It’s him I’m mad at. If they don’t send him to jail I’ll get him.”

Julia: “Don’t talk that way, Mitch. Jen was smart enough to go to the police. They’ll take care of him. You don’t have to pound your chest like the righteous avenger.”

Mitchell: “Are you telling me I can’t hate the guy who violated my daughter?”

Julia: “No, Mitch. Just don’t stir her up. She’s going through enough as it is.”

Mitchell: “I know this is hard for you, Jen, but you did the right thing going to the police. This way everyone’ll know the scumbag’ll get what he deserves.”

(Jennifer nods, beginning to believe that she can deal with the nightmare.)

Megan: “I told her what happened to me.”

Julia: “Did you tell her what it cost us because you didn’t have she sense to speak up?”

Megan: “No, Mom. I thought it was more important to help her, rather than tell her about how much you spent on doctors, therapy and medication.”

Mitchell: “We did whatever we had to in order to save our daughter. Just like we’ll do for Jennifer.”

Julia: “Judging by how sensibly she’s dealing with this, she won’t need addiction rehab, or hospitalization.”

Megan: “That’s a little cold-blooded, Mom.”

Julia: “I didn’t mean it like that. We’re still paying off our debt from your treatment. We just couldn’t afford another major treatment expense.”

Mitchell: “Let’s stop talking about money and do whatever we have to to take care of Jen.”

Julie: “Of course. That’s what we all want.” (exit all)

Scene 3 (Sunday evening. The living room of the Bennett family. Enter Jennifer and Larry)

Jennifer: “I have something to tell you.”

Larry: “Let me guess. You’re not going to sneak into my dorm room tonight.”

Jennifer: “No. It’s something serious.”

Larry: “Like what?”

Jennifer: (She hesitates) “I was raped last night.”

Larry: “What?”

Jennifer: “You heard me.”

Larry: “Are you joking?”

Jennifer: “No. It happened.”

Larry: (Getting upset) “How?”

Jennifer: “I went to a frat party last night…”

Larry: (Amazed) “Why did you go to a frat party?”

Jennifer: “You weren’t here. It was Saturday night. I was bored, so I accepted an invitation from a Lacrosse player.”

Larry: (Indignant) “You went on a date?”

Jennifer: “It wasn’t a date. It was a party.”

Larry: “Some guy asked you and you went? Sounds like a date to me.”

Jennifer: “That’s not important. I’m trying to tell you what happened to me.”

:Larry: “So you went out with this guy and he raped you?”

Jennifer: “I didn’t go out with him. I met him there. He gave me a drink that was drugged  and I passed out. When I woke up he was raping me.”

Larry: “Did you try to stop him?”

Jennifer: (Outraged) “Of course I did. I had trouble speaking, but I told him to stop. I was so groggy that I couldn’t resist.”

Larry: “Did you enjoy it?”

Jennifer: “Are you crazy? How can you ask that?”

Larry: “You know what they say. Most rapes are invited by the way women dress and act.”


Jennifer: “I don’t believe you said that. I was drugged and overpowered. It wasn’t my choice. I was violated. Don’t you understand that?”

Larry: “It wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t go to the party.”

Jennifer: “Are you saying I asked for it?”

Larry: “What else should I think? You went out with a strange guy to a frat party. We 

know what happens at those kind of parties.”

Jennifer: “I hoped you’d understand and care about what happened to me.”

Larry: “What do you want me to do? Go find the guy and beat him up?”

Jennifer: “I expect you to be concerned that something terrible happened to me. Instead you’re saying it was my fault.”

Larry: “Well you shouldn’t have been there.”

Jennifer: (Crying) “You’re just making it worse. Get out of here.”

(Larry shakes his head angrily and stalks out. Jennifer exits.)

Scene 4 (Evening. The living room of the Bennett family. Enter Jennifer, then Megan)

Megan: “So how did it go?”

Jennifer: “Not good. He thinks it’s my fault I got raped because I went to a frat party.”

Megan: “Why the lousy bastard. What did he say?”

Jennifer: “That if I didn’t go out on a date it wouldn’t have happened.”

Megan: “I’m so sorry. I thought he was a nice guy, though I didn’t know him very well.”

Jennifer: “I couldn’t believe he blamed me. He was always so nice. It was a shock to find  out how he really felt.”

Megan: “Just remember that guys don’t always know how to deal with something like this. It can threaten their masculinity.”

Jennifer: “Are you defending him?”

Megan: “No. I’m just trying to be fair.”

Jennifer: “Well don’t. He turned out to be an insensitive jerk.”

Megan: “Better to find out now, when you have a support system and can do without him.”

Jennifer: “That’s one way of looking at it.”

Megan: “You have to develop a different mindset now. You were victimized. That doesn’t mean you’re helpless. Someone took advantage of you, but you began fighting back today. That shows character. It may take some time, but you’ll come out stronger from this.”

Jennifer: “It doesn’t feel like that.”

Megan: “Give it some time. You’ll see. You’re a survivor. You’ll come out of this alright.”

Jennifer: “I hope you’re right. But how can I ever trust a guy after this?” (Exit Jennifer and Megan)

Gary Beck