(Today Mr. Foote returns with one of the things he does best–a dialogue –The Eds.)

Cicero: Dear audience, please prepare yourself for a spectacle unlike anything the world has ever seen or heard.

I’m Cicero Webster. I’m your host tonight.

Tonight, live on our stage. We have a debate for the ages without commercial interruption. This presentation is being carried by most major streaming, television, and radio outlets. For the next two hours, prepare yourself to see Evil and Good in their inaugural debate.

Viewers and listeners to the right of me. We have Mr. Good, a blonde, blue-eyed, six-foot-one-inch-tall White male in a custom white tuxedo that literally glows. He’s crowned with a silver halo.

To my left is Ms. Evil, a five-foot-nine-inch dark-skinned Black woman in a form-fitting red sequined dress and red heels. The tips of twin red horns stick out from her natural hairstyle.

We will start with each party providing a brief definition of the concept they represent. Mr. Good has won the coin toss and has elected to start.

Good: Thank you to the billions that are looking and listening for joining us tonight. Thank you, Cicero, for hosting, and thank you, Evil, for making this event possible.

And now, to my definition.

Good is an activity that promotes the well-being of humans and nature. Good thoughts and good intentions are weightless in the world of actions.

It is our good deeds and efforts that define us.

I yield the floor to the elegant Ms. Evil.

Evil: Ahh, Good, you are resplendent and gorgeous in your glowing garments. And your halo is absolutely divine.

To Cicero and all our audience, I welcome your kind attention and thoughtful consideration of our words.

Evil is hateful or harmful acts committed by humans for the actor’s satisfaction, or gain, or with utter indifference to the impacts of the actions on humans or other life forms.

Equally important is the duty to oppose evil in your sphere of influence. The failure to oppose evil is evil.

You are all familiar with evil. It is part of your everyday life.

Cicero: If these definitions are satisfactory starting points, would each of you give your best example of good and evil in the last century? Evil, it is your turn to take the lead.

Evil: It was a six-year season of blood, brains, brawn, and guts mired in the trenches, smothering the beaches, and the macabre fruit of every remaining tree or shrub.

It was the invasion of Poland on tracks, wheels, and soaring wings of steel, with shells, bombs, and bayonets, that watered and sowed the blood-sodden soil with the sweet meats and tender flesh, and glistening bones of 250,000 corpses, a grand death dance to open wide the gates of hell on Earth in WWII.

Invasions, battles, sieges, retreats, firebombing, atomic bombing, death marches, the rape of millions of women by Axis and Allies troops, “Comfort Women,” Unit 731, and the mass murder of 13 million human beings because of their race, culture, physical and mental ability, or ethnicity.

And this banquet of butchery establishes record numbers of 20 million military deaths and 40 million civilian deaths.

This war was a symphony of acrimony, hatred, hubris, and greed in a monument to the endless capacity of humans to do violence to one another.

It is evil incarnate.

[Evil has changed from her red gown to green camouflage fatigues, boots, and a steel helmet. She is holding a shovel and a sign, “The gravedigger is the final victor.”]

Cicero: Well spoken, Evil. Good, the floor is yours.

Good: Evil, your words move me, touch my soul, and terrify me. Yet, I find goodness in the world. Lift every voice and rejoice. In 1900, world life expectancy was 32 years. In 2026, worldwide life expectancy is 73.66 years. Forty-one years of life is a glorious bounty worth taking a minute to savor.

We are living testimony to our good work, our incredible ingenuity, and our commitment to our communities.

[Good has morphed into a garbage worker’s white overalls, gloves, and work boots.]

Cicero: Do you have any comments or questions at this stage?

Evil: The hunting-gathering societies that preceded and still coexist with us had life spans of 70 or more years if they survived birth and infancy. Perhaps civilization had negative impacts on life expectancy that we have just corrected over the last century.

Good: Whatever the context, we have documented the good we have accomplished.

Evil: Dear audience, if you are of the opinion that good and evil are distinct and separate and opposite entities, please let me tell you that is not the case. We are devious and deceptive in our presentations, and you will have to watch us carefully. But you will soon understand that our differences are overwhelmed by our similarities.

Good: I adamantly disagree with that proposition. Without good and the distinction between good and evil, civilization falters, and the world runs to ruin. We can separate good from evil as clearly as we can see the difference between day and night. Hitler, from your WWII example, is a case in point.

Evil: Hitler was one person who had the support of millions in his racist, nationalist, imperialistic campaign of conquest and genocide.

And even those who did not support Hitler but failed to oppose him fall into my category of evil.

I think 90% of the German people fell into these two categories of evil.

Yet it would be difficult to say that these millions had not a grain of goodness in them. Don’t you agree?

Good: We are talking about Hitler as a uniquely evil person beyond a doubt. Most people would agree on that.

Evil: Most people are evil. We have demonstrated that with our Germany example. The value judgments of a cabal of evil are questionable at best.

Good: Dear, dear, Evil, grant me this one concession that people of the world recognize Hitler is one of the truly great evils of our time.

Evil: Does he lack even one grain of goodness?

Good: Even if he does, it utterly fails to compensate for his crimes against humanity.

Evil: Hush now. Tread carefully, for you are on the precipice when you declare even an odious human such as Hitler an inhuman thing undeserving of human concern. At this moment you start to glow evil.

Good: Evil, why are you supporting the alleged humanity of Hitler? Answer me that.

Evil: To prove my point. To win our debate. Evil is everywhere and in all of us, given the opportunity to express it. You are all subjects in my kingdom. Bow down.

Good: No! No! Goodness is the hope and the foundation of the world. Without our goodness, without our families, without our caring for each other, without our raising our children to adulthood, there would be no humankind, and this is the essence of goodness—our caring for each other.

Evil: [Applauds] Bravo. Good. Dear Good, you do understand that most domestic abuse, most child abuse, most false indoctrinations, such as religion, racism, and nationalism, occur within the family.

Family miseducation provides the foundation for every Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin.

And I know you have seen the DNA results that show that the rate of incest is higher than we had assumed.

Family values in action by the good families of the world.

Oh, and don’t forget Cain and Abel and Joseph, and his brothers, Hamlet, Macbeth, and too many more dysfunctional evil families to mention.

Good: Evil, I’m not claiming that the family or any other human institution is perfect; we all know that is not so. What I’m claiming is that, for the existence of humanity, the family has been the good, the good platform we stood on and still stand on.

Evil: Let me whisper a secret to you, Good: What you are missing from your account is the fact that this is the good and evil platform of family.

And at this point, I suggest you concede the debate to me, for you have admitted that all human endeavors are imperfect and therefore subject to and contain the seeds of evil.

[Evil is now dressed in a red bikini, flip-flops, and a bathing cap with a towel over her shoulder.]

Good: NO! Never. God is good in perfection.

Evil: God! No, you didn’t. If you are referring to the Christian God, if you are referring to the one who destroyed the world once and has threatened to do it again, has destroyed six or more cities and slaughtered thousands. If that is your exemplar of good, you are deranged. Your God is the evilest creature I have ever encountered.

I will speak no more on that.

Good: That is the most despicable and disparaging comment I have encountered from a creature of reason that professes respect for the beliefs of others.

Evil: Oh, please, Good. Don’t play dumb and innocent. If your God exists and its bibles are its true words, they are its proud public confessions. If it is a myth, shame on the myth makers for promoting mass murder and genocide.

Good: God moves in mysterious ways beyond the comprehension of man.

Evil: Rubbish! You supposedly understand your God’s goodness and eternal love that is erected on this platform of evil and destruction. You have an enormous, apparently immeasurable capacity for understanding.

Come, Good, forget the debate. Come with me to the beach. And we can discuss good and evil in a more relaxed setting.

Cicero, I’m going to blow this joint. Thank you all for listening, and we await your comments.

Good: I reject your arguments against God. They demonstrate the true nature of evil. You would deny humankind hope and salvation.

Evil: Save it for the next debate. I’m beach bound.

Good: I will not leave millions in the lurch. We shall have this out here and now.

Evil: Your true believers will be unswayed by logic and truth, and doubters will still have their doubts.

Cicero: Perhaps you could return for another debate. That would allow us to evaluate the overwhelming responses we are receiving.

Evil: Of course, Cicero. Possibly at the beach next time, but not too soon.

Good: So be it. I will settle for a second match. Evil: A dip in the ocean might just cool my temper.

Evil: Good, Good. Why don’t you be black for the afternoon? It would be gratifying for us to be on the same page for a change.

Good: I can do you one better than a change in my skin tone.

[Good turns into a dark chocolate brown woman wearing a white bikini.

Evil: I like your style, Good. Let’s take in the ocean air.

[The pair disappears from the studio.]