(Adapted from Bertolt Brecht’s Baal)

Funny, it took the prospect of God’s unleashing the Flood to instill a spirit of co-operation among the animals of this earth. Noah was quite persuasive, really. In all, there was only one creature immune to his warnings of the catastrophe to come and that was the dear old ichthyosaurus. He greeted Noah’s weather forecast with a breezy “Nope, don’t believe a word of it.” The other animals exchanged a knowing look amongst themselves. “That ichthyosaurus,” they said, “deaf to reason, stubborn as they come, always was.” The ichthyosaurus nodded in agreement, but added that, seeing as he was the oldest creature of the lot, he knew a thing or two about probabilities. And to his credit, he conceded that such a deluge as predicted by batty old Noah was indeed possible – in fact, even quite likely, given the almighty mess made of things down here. “The point is,” said the ichthyosaurus, “I wouldn’t book passage aboard that Ark if Flood were guaranteed!”

And I must say, all considered, such a sentiment strikes in me a sympathetic note – to the extent that, were a similar predicament to loom, and the first drops fall, and there still be room on the Ark, my response would be to sit down and contemplate the fact that very shortly, where earthly matters are concerned, I shall be well fucking shut of it!

Geraint Jonathan

(Image by DWB)