Wild Bill’s Thursday Afternoon Show by Michael Bloor

‘Hi there and welcome to The Thursday Afternoon Show on Radio Sherwood, with me your humble host and Turntable Operator, Wild Bill Hilcock…

[a burst of Wild Bill’s personal jingle]

‘Not content with simply playing you The Very Best of The Seventies, we also have the latest instalment of our weekly feature: our “Meet the Muse” live interview. This week we’ll be talking to Jeanette Brailsford, who as a sweet seventeen year-old, became the immortal muse of Dogsbreath Donovan, the onlie begetter of that great seventies hit, “Jeanie Baby”…

‘Meantime, gang, let’s “Take it to the limit” one more time…

#

‘OK, listeners everywhere, it’s that point in the show where we Meet The Muse! And here with me in the Radio Sherwood studio, all the way from Derby, is Jeanette Brailsford!

‘Hi Jeanette, welcome to The Thursday Afternoon Show.’

‘Thanks, Wild Bill. It’s great to be…’

‘OK, Jeanette. Now, a little bird told me that you were actually the muse for Dogsbreath & The Puppypoopers big hit “Jeanie Baby.”’

‘Yes, that’s right Wild Bill, it was…’

‘Well, I told my little bird (actually, my researcher, but to be fair, she is a little bird) that, if this Derby lady is called “Jeanette,” how come the song title is “Jeanie”?’

‘I was christened “Jeanette,” but I was always called “Jeanie.” So I suppose…’

‘OK, so is it fine if I call you “Jeanie,” Jeanie? [‘Sure, everyone calls…’] And you were sweet seventeen when you met Dogsbreath. How did you two hook up?’

‘Well, we met up at the local folk club. Dogsbreath and the boys played three or four numbers and, in the intermission, he asked if he could buy me a drink. So…’

‘Hold it right there, Jeanie. Dogsbreath and The Puppypoopers were playing in a folk club?? One of The United Kingdom’s leading punk bands were playing in a folk club??’

‘Oh, they weren’t a punk band back then. They called themselves “The Woodlanders.” Dogsbreath played the mandolin…’

‘Dogsbreath played the mandolin??’

‘Well, yes, but he wasn’t called Dogsbreath then. He was called Adrian. And his brother Arthur played…’

‘Jeanie: You’re telling me that Dogsbreath was called Adrian?’

‘Umm. Adrian Browning. That was before they re-formed as The Puppypoopers. He lived two streets away. We went to the same primary school. But then he passed the exam to go to the grammar school. I hadn’t seen him since we both left school. I never fancied him in that daft school blazer and silly tie. But when he had grown his hair and…’

‘Yeah, yeah. So Adrian Dogsbreath Browning parked the mandolin and asked if he could buy you a drink? And that was the start of a beautiful evening?’

‘Not really. My pals and I went to folk club because the barman didn’t mind us being under-age, as long as someone else bought us the drinks. Dogsbreath had to buy my friend Mandy a drink too. We both had a Snakebite & Black…’

‘Snakebite & Black? What’s that? A pint of venom?- Haha.’

‘It was a popular drink then – cider and lager and a squirt of blackcurrant cordial. Nice, but quite strong though. Mandy and I were quite merry by the end of the evening.., .’

‘OK, OK. Was Dogsbreath on the Snake… the Snake stuff?’

‘No, I remember he was just drinking halves of bitter. I reckoned he hadn’t much money and I must’ve felt sorry for him…’

‘Felt a bit sorry for him, Jeanie?’

‘I suppose so – I let him walk me home anyway…’

‘Oh, Jeanie!’

‘ Well, he didn’t have a car, see? And as soon as I got out of the club and into the open air, I started to feel a bit wobbly. I needed to walk home to sober up – my mum would’ve gone mental, if I came home drunk. It was nice of Dogsbreath to come with me – the walk was well over a mile…’

‘And that long walk home in the dark – was that the start of a teenage romance? A romance that inspired Dogsbreath to write that Seventies Anthem, “Jeanie Baby”? Alright, Jeanie. Now, before we play that very record: I gather from my little bird, that you were just a little bit coy about whether anything happened on that walk home. Are you sure you don’t want to tell us? Did anything happen underneath the stars?’

‘Well, I was sick into a hedge.’

Michael Bloor

(Image provided by Mick)

6 thoughts on “Wild Bill’s Thursday Afternoon Show by Michael Bloor

    • mickbloor3's avatar mickbloor3 says:

      Yep, the road to success was lined with urine and vomit. Also, the road to failure. Thanks for publishing this, Leila. bw mick

      Like

  1. Bill Tope's avatar Bill Tope says:

    I enjoyed the full of crap persona of the DJ and Jeanie’s injection of a bit of deflating realism into the account of her “dream date.” Funny!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. DWB's avatar DWB says:

    Mick

    This captures the spiel of the pitch man, the promoter, the carnival barker. A skill which would become so important it would elevate various people to the highest levels of position in their societies. Capitalism’s number one front is providing entertainment. There always has to be a bullshit salesman working the crowd. Makes one want to throw up! Perfect dialogue in this piece.

    Dale

    Liked by 1 person

    • mickbloor3's avatar mickbloor3 says:

      Thanks, Dale. In a comic novel by David Lodge, an American called Prof Morris Zapp visits the UK for the first time in the 1970s. In the hotel, he tunes into BBC Radio 1. He loves it: there’s wonderful satirical programme on the awfulness of radio music programmes. He’s entranced, but then the following programme is just the same. He belatedly realises UK pop radio is utterly appalling, a very pale imitation of US pop radio.

      (though to be fair, there was a guy called John Peel worth listening to)

      bw mick

      Like

Leave a comment