The Drifter is out of town. The Grinch agreed to fill in:
One reason I can’t stand most mainstream novels written in the USA today is that they are almost all (universally) LOADED (as if drunken) with BAD dialogue, dialogue so bad, so stilted, so wooden, so FAKE, and so obviously expository that reading pages upon pages of it is something I just don’t have time for any more, if I ever did have time for it.
The effect is like Amber Heard on the witness stand.
(The same is true for all AI fiction.)
Another reason I can’t stand reading most mainstream novels written in the USA today is that they are all LOADED (as if drunken) with action that is clearly stolen, unintentionally, from the latest, truly bad Netflix television series.
If I have to watch bad TV I would rather be sleeping.
The third reason that I can’t stand reading most mainstream novels written in the USA today is because they all, both subconsciously and unconsciously, enforce the herd mentality and non-thinking of a blatantly consumerist, post-Christian society.
“Post-Christian” here means lacking the morals of the real Jesus, even as a pretense any longer.
My fourth and final reason (for today) for why I cannot read most mainstream novels written in the USA today is because their middle-class, commercial nature makes them prone to all of the above in an extreme way.
In conclusion, I will stay in my mountain cave with my dog.
This place is stocked with medicinal substances, lamps, and the truly good books.
(I don’t want your things, and for that reason I shan’t be climbing down your chimneys.)
Saragun Springs 
Merry Chritmas Drif–um, sorry, Grinch
I am glad to see that your heart enlargement was a temporary condition.
And I agree wholeheartedly with being against the obvious junk food literature that has no thought put into it.
Post-Christian is an excellent observation. Potential atheists should consider Humanism, which is actually more Christlike than many churches.
Great fill in for The Drifter, Mr. Grinch. I do hope you no longer tie antlers to your Dog’s head.
Leila
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My Dear L
Thanks for allowing me to appear as a guest columnist in your realm. I feel so much better being able to air my opinions on an issue of such vital importance. Because of your own frighteningly large intellect, I had no doubt you would agree with me. I also wish to applaud my own eloquence. I have been sharpening the pen for many decades now. My little screed is almost the exact same length as the Gettysburg Address, but it is considerably more memorable.
As far as Max the Canine wearing his antlers, since we no longer descend to Whoville trying to ruin everything for everybody, he is no longer asked to wear his costume nor to pull the sleigh. His paws look like the paws of all my Creator’s other animal creations, by the way. He spends his days wandering through snowy fields with his co-conspirators, being fed treats, and taking lengthy naps in his favorite chair by the window of our mountain cave.
(As far as The Drifter, it’s debatable whether he’s really out of town, or not, but everybody knows that, even himself.)
Thanks again!!
G
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Dear G and Max
It is a tremendous relief to know that you are doing well and that the antler thing was one and done.
Max seems like a fine fellow, but even a Dog can be asked to do too much.
Leila
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L.A.
Re: Max; Boo agrees with you too!
G
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Not adequately informed to either agree or disagree because the two things I usually read or reread are old mysteries or journals which feature my favorite author. Have not read current fiction much since the ’60s or ’70s. Currently checking some P.D. James (or as I call her, Phyllis) short stories. Those two sources of reading and spending some time writing are enough. Oh, yeah clabbering with lead author Bill “Topiary” Tope.
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Mirthful One
Thanks for responding in kind to The Grinch’s half-insane, all-the-way-off-the-wall screed. Looking forward to your productions which will be appearing and/or reappearing in The Springs soon. Merry Xmas to you and yours, including your collaborator from the great state of Illinois.
D & G
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D&G –
Don’t know what if anything is scheduled to Spring forth. Hoping that Maysam Kandej will translate some Doug into Farsi, but that project may have hit a money snag.
Seasoned Greenings to all, and to all a What The Hell?
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….The Grinch wishes a Merry Christmas to the esteemed novelists Jonathan Franzen, Richard Powers, Dave Eggers, Percival Everett, Zadie Smith (not technically an American except in sensibility) and many others….Wonderful people all, but I just can’t stand overly and overtly expository dialogue (any more), especially not after reading “Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offenses” by my hero Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
G
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Bracingly fine piece. And that 3rd photo warrants summat like book cover treatment.
Geraint
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