Two teens talking
around the turn table
in 1983
A.D.:
“Maybe they were just unseen,
trouble-making vehicles
for bringing new, pure and cool,
lasting, low, good, flute-like hill tunes of old
to the people’s plains.”
“The trenchant word that well stings the eyes
of the soft heart from the eternal, hidden streams
at earth’s core.”
“Sometimes…”
“So soothing to a needy few…”
“Law man, doctor, debtor or fake, banker,
horse-back tax collector or user nurse, draftsman
or driver, musician, druggist, jailed, and jailor,
sailor, librarian, book thief, art thief, drunkard
delivery dude, public urinator…”
“Traveling teachers of all kinds blood humming
the Underground Railroad songs of another America
across a Missouri of the modern musical mind…”
“All the black and white rappers, sax, trumpet,
Charlie Parker, guitar player,
and she, she, she.”
“Was a Wichita piano player who landed in East St. Louis
on the dime
and somehow she died
on the morphine line.”
“My Christian Science
Fiction
Kiowa
Cowgirl who always pushed it
just a little too far!”
“On purpose!”
“Rise from the provinces, be normal enough
most of the time but always
further along.”
“And she seemed too young.”
“And that was the end of her one,
good song.”
Saragun Springs 
the eternal, hidden streams at earth’s core.”
What a beautiful line.
A very melancholy and evocative poem – could be a song I think. I feel as though I could be in a smokey room full of friends – the like of which hasn’t happened to me for decades. thank you – dd
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Hi Diane
You intuited this poem perfectly on all levels!
The original draft had cigarettes and marijuana in it, and those got taken out because I wanted all details like that to be implied only. But they are still there (though also “not there” in the actual words), so, you got it exactly right!
Your other comments are just as perceptive. Thanks so much for such a great reading of this poem.
Dale
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Dale
“delivery dude, publc urinator” is a crisp, crackling line. It’s rather sad the the 1980’s are now so long ago–still, they did feel mythic. The 70’s were drab, the 90’s were like credit card debt.
Leila
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Hi there Leila
Wallace Stevens said, “The collecting of poetry from one’s experience as one goes along is not the same thing as merely writing poetry.”
In case that was unclear, he then said (wrote), “Poetry and materia poetica are interchangeable terms.”
And then he said, “Poetry has to be something more than a conception of the mind. It has to be a revelation of nature (the real world). Conceptions are artificial. Perceptions are essential.”
Thank you for already knowing all of the above!
Dale
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A layered, musically structured poem that captures the improvisational energy of youth and American music history. The dialogue format feels authentic and rhythmic. Love the cultural references. Tons of emotional resonance, especially in its meditation on myth, brilliance, and early loss.
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Hi David!
Thank you endlessly for this brilliant commentary on my poem. You summarized it wonderfully well, so well, in fact, that you helped me myself see this poem in a new and deeper way. That is, perhaps (at least for the poet him- or herself), the very best thing a piece of commentary can do. Thanks again!
Dale
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Hi DWB!
The opening, in 1983 and the turntable… Loved that!
Back then it was my brother’s JVC playing “Pyromania. ” Those were good days I wasn’t fucked up at all back then. I think I even knew who I was and wasn’t.
This poem had a beautiful rhythm. So many great lines: “lasting, low, good, flute-like hill tunes of old” Man that is great! That sounds good in my mind and rolls off the tongue. Like you want to say it again.
“The trenchant word that well stings the eyes” I’ve had that happen–words can hurt, especially when you’re around 17. We weren’t as tough as we thought…
This poem is a journey, too. Charlie Bird Parker and the western plains. After reading it I felt like I went to many places and “She She She” what a great place for that!
Sad ending but it came around almost reincarnated with “her one good song.” That wouldn’t be so bad..would it.
Damned impressive writing, but I’m not at all surprised…
CJA
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Hi CJA!
Back in the early and mid ’80s I spent much more time reading rock, blues, and country lyrics than I did reading poetry itself.
Fortunately for me, the song lyrics I spent so much time reading at such a tender young age were written by people like John and Paul, Mick and Keith, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Robbie Robertson, Hank Williams, Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, Waylon Jennings, Bob Seger, Tom Petty, Kris Kristofferson, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, and many others of their ilk.
For much of the ’80s, Pete Townshend (other than Dylan) was my favorite song lyric writer. Later I discovered Leonard Cohen, perhaps the only North American song lyric writer, other than Dylan, who is, truly, truly A POET, and not “just” a writer of song lyrics.
And then of course there’s the music itself, which we spent endless hours listening to while hanging around the turntable. The room used to get so smoky you could stop smoking and still be smoking. And then we would go out and wander around the town for endless hours – talking about the music – and the words.
And all of it was done for the love of the thing, and not for any other reason.
Thanks so much for your continuing dialogues and interchanges on your work and my work, it reminds me of those endless conversations my teenaged friends and I used to have about the music…and the words…
Dale
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Hi Dale
What a great way to educate yourself with all of those artists–reading their lyrics. I often turn the captions on to try and decipher videos on You tube.
“The room used to get so smoky you could stop smoking and still be smoking.” Humor and truth be here! Great line.
I remember those times of teenage wisdom, that can’t really be taken away, because it was real and good–good times with those friends. We used to meet up town and sit by the barbershop talking into the night.
Yes it has been awesome talking about our writing and continuing dialogues.
CJA
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Christopher
Thanks as well for selecting lines and phrases from my work and quoting them back at me…this is truly, truly, truly invaluable feedback which helps in the composition and/or revision of future poems, too!
DWB
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