The gang marched onward and soon encountered a field that contained a giant poppyseed themed buffet. Daisy went for the poppyseed muffins, Beezer and Barkevious both devoured the poppyseed pizza and even Promo wasn’t finicky enough to bypass the poppyseed herring (although he had been told about the “trap”).
The poppyseed laden food caused the breathing creatures to fall asleep. They were snoring under the azure sky and when they awoke they’d forget all about the mission and go home. Or so that was how the spell was set up.
But all spells have their loopholes and being that Peety is unaffected by poppyseeds and wouldn’t eat any unless there was poppyseed PDQ (which HeXy overlooked), he remained conscious, well, at least in his version of such a state.
He flitted to each of the sleepers and poured a swallow of PDQ in their mouths, at the same time sharing quotes from his favorite films, because those are as close to magic words he knows.
Daisy heard: “‘I’ll be back,’ thuh Arnold, The Terminator.”
Promo was informed: “‘When you’re Jewish, you either learn to fight or take a lotta shit. I don’t take shit.’ Schwartz, Porky’s.”
For Beezer: “‘Thank you sir, may I please have another?’ Sir Kevin Bacon, Animal House.”
And Barkevious: “‘Don’t be obsessed with your desires, Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote “a flute without holes is not a flute, a donut without a hole is a Danish.”’ The late Chevy Chase, CaddyShack.”
“Chevy Chase is still alive,” Barkevious said as he awoke.
“Tell that to his career,” said Daisy.
Naturally, the Baws went back to the buffet before anyone could stop them. But it was all right, with his Google-like mind, Peety is never out of magic words.
End part eighteen
Saragun Springs 
Woah you had me there for a moment. I was just about to Google, Is Chevy Chase dead when you slipped in the truth. I mean so many people seem to be leaving since the orange event that I thought maybe he had taken the ultimate way out. Another entertaining episode. Thank you – dd
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Hi Diane
Nope, old Chevy is still hanging in there–although he excels at saying things that piss off his coworkers. Thank you again!
Leila
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thuh huh
Age Test – You Might Be Old If
By Doug Hawley
370 Words
Count the number of statements that apply to you to find out if you are old.
You have three pairs of glasses, but you can’t find the ones on your face.
You last took the stairs in 1983.
You can’t identify more than ten genders or don’t know a hundred pronouns.
Your marriage is a chorus of “What did you say?”
You just called someone to say that you lost your phone.
You wear support shirts.
You or someone you knew was born in the 1800s
You last liked a song that came out in 1972.
You’ve never heard a Beyonce or Swift song.
You fall asleep twenty minutes into a book or movie.
You would have taken better care of yourself if you knew you’d live this long.
You don’t trust anyone under fifty.
You think the last century is the 1800s.
You read the obituaries. If you are in them, you don’t make plans for the day. You don’t know whether to cheer for those that died older than you or younger than you.
You tell stupid stories to youths about when you were their age
You aren’t told you’ve grown or asked for ID any more.
Your old girlfriend is a widow and a great grandmother.
You get offers to help you cross the street and people call you sir or ma’am.
You remember being rejected sixty years ago, but not what you had for breakfast.
You’ve said, “Get off my lawn you dang hippie” or “They don’t make them like they used to”, or “It wasn’t like that it the old days” a combined total of greater than twenty in the last week.
You can write cursive, make change, and drive a stick shift car.
You think movies should have cartoons and Movietones.
You hit the spacebar twice after a sentence.
You don’t buy unripe fruit.
Your favorite magazine is “Mobility Device Monthly”.
You ask your grandchildren to explain phones without dials and those boxes with pictures which aren’t TVs.
You are disappointed to find out that you’ve been awake for most of the day.
If you took this test you are old. Applicable statement count is irrelevant. Only old people would waste their time like this.
The End
Appears in Pure Slush Lifespan Aging, DougIR, and the Haven.
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Thank you for this Doug, will look at it when coffee is ready.
Leila
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“Back in Chicago, all we cared about was rock ‘n’ roll and staying out of the army.”
-Belushi
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Hi Dale
I grew up in the 60’s. My older brother was very happy that the draft and Vietnam ended just before he was old enough. The thing always existed for kids born in the late fifties.
Thank you again!
Leila
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