(Please note that edited adverbs still marked with *)

“Um, where are we going?” John askly asked.

“We’re headed to Agoville,” Renfield * said.

“Why did Leila go to Other Earth and how did she change it?” Gwen said, with a lot of hintly hinting in her voice. Perhaps she wanted to stay on the * topic we opened at the finish yesterday, before asking about Agoville.

“Oh, that,” Renfield said. “Leila converted an old flip phone into a time machine and chose to go back seventy some odd years into Other Earth’s past via the vortex. Why she thought that up and did such things are mysteries. But it worked. Naturally, she was duped out of her modern technology by a mad scientist at Other Earth circa 1947. The scientist sent Leila back to the Springs without her phone. You aren’t supposed to bring stuff back from the deep past through the vortex–strange shit happens. Leila just happened to be holding a picture of Peety, who was a prototype cartoon mascot for PDQ Pilsner–on her way back through,” Renfield hooked a thumb at Peety who * always has a * bottomless bottle of PDQ in his winglike hand, changed into the creature you see now.”

“‘Put a sock in it boy, or you’ll be outta here like shit through a Goose’–Dean Wormer, the Book of Animal House,” Peety squawked.

“You’d think that the first known incident of time travel might yield slightly more scholarly results,” Renfield addingly added. “But we’re fond of Peety, he grows on you.”

“Other Earth got a whopper of a changely change,” I said. “The mad * scientist used the technology she stole and created a race of nuclear monsters who to this very day inhabit the southwestern US desert on other Earth.”

“But why?” John asked.

“To rule the world of course,” saidly said Renfield, surprised that anyone would ask such an obvious question.

“So, Other Earth is a world like an Edward D. Wood movie brought to life,” John said, philosophically. “Then again, if it’s brought to us by the same God, who claims to be everywhere, it matches the typical pathetic lack of consistency.”

“No need to get deep, lover,” Gwen said. “We are in a land where Lambs smoke doobie and moon passersby–Hah! Your best side is showing, Gyro-bait!”

We roundingly rounded the bend that leads to Agoville.

“We is here,” Renfield said and stopped the cart.

We saw Leila. She was * seated on a * bench in a small park that lyingly lies outside Agoville.

“How did you get here first?” Gwen asked. “I thought you said we were going to have adventures.”

“On the wings of a deus ex machina,” Leila replied. “Anyway, change of plans. Life is all about the editing–I suggest you recall how much happier you were when you stopped questioning things.”

“Mysterious ways,” John said, nodding wisely. He had been consuming Fairie Ale non-stop. His tankard magically refilled itself therefore he refilled himself.

Leila smiled at me and retook the narratively narrative after patting my head, giving me a feed bag full of cauliflower and saying “That’ll do, little Goat, that’ll do.”

End Part Eight–Tomorrow is Sunday, to be continued next week