(We are blessed with another new item for this month–three actually by Geraint Jonathan. The first appears today, the second tomorrow and the third next week–Leila)
i said to her i said
unhesitating obedience is all i ask
taking what i say as gospel
hanging on to my every syllable
is all that’s required
apart from that
you’re free to do as i tell you i said
my good books are easy to be in
it’s wordy there for sure
but listen is an anagram of silent
& your silence is the best i’ve heard yet
& if you think that’s a riddle think again
that’s what i said i couldn’t’ve been clearer
but did she listen not a bit of it
so off i went
you’ve a vengeful nature she said
out of nowhere just like that
vengeful nature now is it i said
we’ll fucking see about that
Saragun Springs 
Geraint
A vengeful nature indeed. Truly a lovely group of words. Extreme egos usually lack the confidence to be honest. But here the fellow seems perplexed by the lack of obedience.
Great flow here. Perhaps Dale knows the technical term. This is so clear that my mind did not stumble once.
Beautiful work. But I see I forgot to select an image for it. Will fix that oversight anon.
Leila
LikeLike
….LA, answered your question and forgot to hit reply, DB….(see below)
LikeLike
Geraint
This is a wonderful poem: part crisis lyric, part dramatic monologue, part song of freedom, part lamentation, riddle, and curse. The spare, vibrant lines leap off the page -screen with an element of voice that feels like the adventure in self of a Shakespeare soliloquy crossed with Sam Beckett’s mastery of the modern idiom. The echoes, ghosts, and references are there but the voice remains essentially itself, stand-alone, wholly original, urgent, fleeting, carved in stone, all at the same time.
A truly beautiful piece of work, elusive and mysterious, utterly lacking in propaganda or political correctness, those all-too-serious right-wing and left-wing murderers of the Spirit of Art.
At the same time, the poem’s reason for being is utterly clear. It’s a heartbreaker and an affirmation of defeat, and, to steal a phrase from Leonard Cohen, an “anthem of defeat” as well.
I’ll have more to say on this poem after I chew it over a little more. To say that I’m impressed is a vast understatement. To say that I’m surprised it’s this good would be a lie, since it comes from your keyboard, Geraint. Thanks for enlivening Saragun with your good verses. The fact that there are two more poems to come in the near future is a holiday treat for all the new readers of Saragun who’ve recently arrived.
Dale
LikeLike
Hi again Geraint
I selected Skelly for the header because he is also challenged as the MC in your poem when it comes to speaking to the other sex.
Leila
LikeLike
LA
ENJAMBMENT is a technical term which sprang to mind when I perused your commentary but I also have to admit that my knowledge of poetry’s technical terminology, while “okay,” is also woefully lacking when compared to some others. But I do feel confident that I know what’s good as surely as I know what ain’t so much, and WHY. Decades of studying the subject combined with a somehow unabated (despite so many sins committed) mental energy are two criteria for critical acumen such as I have for however long it’s mine.
Wonderful image selection for this poem, it reminds me of Vladimir and/or Estragon from WAITING FOR GODOT for some reason, which is a perfect pairing with Geraint’s work.
Or Hamlet talking to what remains of Yorick, maybe an even better comparison-connection. (“Alas, poor Yorick!”)
D
LikeLike
Thanks for the comments, enlightening as always. More a rapidfire performance poem than anything. Written 20 years ago – but there’s still a lot of it about. And lo, beware males who know their Olympe de Gouges from their Mary Astell or who can quote from The Female Eunuch or the Vindication of the Rights of Woman – for their ability to do so may in itself be a sign of something seriously amiss!
Thanks again.
Geraint
LikeLiked by 1 person
A steady stream of consciousness, conflict, and control. Powerful voice leading to a not so subtle threat. Nice way with the words. This is why the police are in jeopardy on domestic calls. Enjoyed!
LikeLiked by 1 person