Goat v Lamb Civil Poem War Day Five: A Special Episode

Hello Readers.

This week we have explored the poetic elements of the Goat v. Lamb Civil War of Saragun Springs. For four days both sides have tossed poetic crapbombs at each other. It has reached the point that I have decided to jump in with a possible solution. Call it a Feckless Fable and perhaps the key to World Peace. Or you can just call it Friday and head to the bar when the whistle blows.

(The fifth and final round of G v L will appear tomorrow)

Yours,

Leila

The Goat and Lamb of Paradise: A Feckless Fable

After the bombs dropped, God scrubbed further experiments with the human race. It had been the third Universe she had created just to watch people destroy. This was because: A.) Most of them were stupid; B.) Whole destruction is far easier to accomplish than achieving bliss.

On the fourth iteration of the Universe, God held back people and placed a Pygmy Goat and a Lamb in Eden IV, to see what would happen. But she had to return upon realizing that not much of anything would happen save for mindless grazing and sleeping unless the creatures could talk and think. So, God endowed them with the gift of gab and personalities. If it worked out then she would fill the garden with natural Goats and Lambs to allow for procreation. For the time being, both critters were as sexually potent as scarecrows. And although they ate plenty, they neither changed size nor had to use the bathroom. The last fact made the garden smell much better than it did when it was inhabited by people.

Soon God had to return again because although she had given both the ability to speak and think, she had inadvertently blessed them with different languages. To be fair, Universe creation is a tough gig and errors happen all the time. After endowing the Goat and Lamb with a basic, common ruminant tongue, God decided to hang around. She sat on a rock and waited for the next mistake to present itself.

“Hello, what’s your name?” The little Sheep asked upon meeting the Goat.

“Daisy,” said the Goat. “And yours?”

“Maisy! We rhyme! Say why don’t you and I dance in the clover and be happy forever and ever!”

“I was thinking the same thing!”

Then the pair began capering, frolicking and mincing in the clover throughout the meadow. There were glitter rainbows, lollipops and tiny hearts hanging in the air.

“Oh, Jesus H. Kee-ryste,” mumbled God, who reinvented liquor and fixed herself a Manhattan.

The Amoral: Life Without Spice is Way too Nice.

Coda:

I do hope that this mixed message provides a lesson for our combatants. Things are more interesting when one says down to another’s up. Friction, little ones, drives the world!

We will see when the poetry smackdown concludes tomorrow.

Leila

7 thoughts on “Goat v Lamb Civil Poem War Day Five: A Special Episode”

  1. LA

    This fable basically lays it all out there, meaning the truth of the universe, including a rational answer for the reasons to it all.

    Theology, cosmology, and philosophy simultaneously and all compressed into the guise of an entertaining fable/fairy tale is not something everyone can accomplish, and you perform the feat with seeming ease.

    Also a lesson in how to write with a persona, as well as a vivid aside to a poetic drama like an Elizabethan actor suddenly dropping everything and speaking straight to the crowd (can’t say actress ’cause they didn’t have ’em back then and there although lots of men dressed up as women).

    Bravo!

    DB

    PS

    Too much so-called creative writing now is not imaginative, it’s more like regurgitation, or spewing, in extreme, long-winded cases.

    To be truly imaginative, something in the soul of the writer needs to “reach for the stars,” and by that I don’t mean Hollywood.

    Kurt Vonnegut’s imaginative “atheism” (in other places he said agnostic) was one of the most religious things out there.

    So was King Lear.

    This fable also reminds of the word “theodicy”…

    Your ability to grapple with big ideas in a “lighthearted” way is amazingly vast…

    You have SENSIBILITY, and that is totally missing from (and utterly lacking in) 99.999999999% of creative writers/writing these days…

    God bless Saragun Springs.

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    • Hello Dale

      Much gratitude to you! I like fables and I think they can still say a lot. I agree that too much of the writing in recent years has been little more than a grab for dollars in whatever “movement” is popular at the moment. I have never understood why women were not allowed to act back in Will’s day. I cannot see how anyone could have been scandalized and there is a sort of creepy undertone with a man seducing a boy onstage, like in Richard III. I am sure Will didn’t like it, seems he made a bit of sport from it on occassion.

      Thank you for liking the picture!

      Leila

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  4. See – I always had daisy as the type who would wear an edgy denim waistcoat and cowboy boots and now here she is in a gingham dress and hair ribbons. That god is really messing with my mind. It doesn’t matter how often we see the ‘ideal’ scenario with everyone walkign about holding hands and smiling vacantly something/ome comes along to screw it all up. So, maybe it’s best to acknowledge that and find a way to work with reality in a less vile way. Do away with borders, stop it with the organised religion and teach everyone to play rugby. I’m workingon it – needs slight adjustment.

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