Month: April 2025

the rubaiyat of the billigits: part fifteen translated by dame Daisy kloverleaf

i

willie went out flying one windy night

he sat on a cloud to contemplate life

then he heard somethin big comin his way

a herd of ghost cows with riders behind

ii

willie watched them rush past in the pingshine

a lesser donkey would have lost his mind

but magic willie is made of sterner stuff

the flyin donkey whooped a mighty cry

iii

yippily kai yay yippily kai yo

Iooky at all that good hamburger roll

kai yay yippily kai yo yippily

i will take two double cheesers to go

iv

one of the riders stopped a spelly spell

change your ways son lest you want helly hell

but willie was lost in his own deep thoughts

and said better throw in some fries as well

the rubaiyat of the billigits: part fourteen (translated by dame daisy kloverleaf)

i

doublely double toil and trouble

a watched cauldron nae boils nor bubbles

high toned witches brew takes hours to reduce

into an ichor coaxed from hells rubble

ii

beauty is what beautilly beauty does

it sticks to the heart like peach to its fuzz

and once caught it is not easy to budge

love potions work but they outlast the buzz

iii

the billigits bottled the green vials

each they one corked with a smiley smile

there is gold in such said the witch laughing

but hearts wane crossing the dusty miles

iv

love came to be for heathcliff and kathy

who discovered late its penalty

forever together is a long time

to wildly roll in the greenly green

the rubiayat of the billigits: part thirteen

(translated by dame daisy kloverleaf)

i

the billigits hootch distillery

makes hundred proof liquid artillery

but it is best to sip it calmly calm

lest you drink yourself onto the pillory

ii

willie donkey downs a quart everyday

he offers some to horses who say neigh

horses are not snobbly snobs or too high

they prefer equine beer made from good hay

iii

there is an e in scotland scotch whiskey

most of the rest go second vowell free

billies spell it w-h-i-s-k-i

and call it whiskigits on delivery

iv

two fingers lead to three sheets in the wind

magic donkeys drink from bucket and bin

lacking fingers they do not much worry

cos it takes hands to carry original sin

the rubaiyat of the billigits: part twelve

(translated by dame daisy kloverleaf)

i

monday billigits are full of faces

eyeing little mirrors in strange places

tuesday billigits listen to grace slick

eyeing small white rabbits in blank spaces

ii

wednesday billigits playin hooky

in pooly pool halls learning snooki

thursday billies say it is snooker

that means hooky hooker cooker cookie

iii

friday billigits are about drinkin

with willie the donkey come home stinkin

saturday gits want the hair of the dog

and magic donkeys are for that thinkin

iv

sunday billigits are free on bail

the night before was quite the third sail

with willie they did paint the town bright blue

magic donkeys never go to jail

the rubaiyat of the billigits: part eleven

(translatedly translated by dame daisy kloverleaf)

i

gather around and you will hearly hear

bout the midnight flight of wasted reindeer

the billigits saw them high in the sky

cupid slurring santa smellin of beer

ii

a snowflake inquisition was brought to wit

called by puritan karen hypocrites

what about our pure children they squealed

whatta bout em mad santa asked quite blitzed

iii

ten months a year we work where it freezes

to make gifts for your spoiled diseases

we do it for free yet you fail to thank

if up to me I’d send you to jesus

iv

the billigits led the big cheer hooray

santa had socked it to that p.t.a.

the snowflake karens slunked off now knowing

that was one elf you do not playly play